August 13, 2013
Blackberry, the company that helped revolutionise the Smartphone world is now up for sale, after it has suffered a calamitous decline in market share. Unable to match Apple’s iPhone for cool or the sheer range of devices from Samsung and others using Google’s Android mobile system, its market share has collapsed from close to 50% in the US in 2009 to less than 3%.
“We just don’t understand!” wailed head of development, Marcus Northington. “We’ve literally changed nothing for ten years! Why has everyone suddenly changed their minds about what’s cool?” the engineer adjusted his hyper colour tee, shuffling his feet in their Nike-Airs before continuing. “It’s almost as though a changing market demands updated hardware and a new-look model to allow cutting edge technologyphiles to promote their superiority over less elite groups in a public way!”
In the face of this crisis, Blackberry is expected to continue doing what it has done without much change until it is swallowed up in the tide of progress.
Reported by Alice Fraser