Edible insects, or “Entomophagism”, are being endorsed by the U.N.’s Food and Agriculture Organisation as the new black crunchy thing to hit the global market. Two billion people already eat insects, so what’s another five billion who are already trying to kill them, anyway? “Only a few hundred billion crickets”, says Dr. Francis D’Emilio sleepily, once a level 5 vegan, refusing to eat anything that cast a shadow. “Good for you, good for world”, he continued to say, before having to sit down.
Environmental scientists who have studied the global value of eating insects have found entomophagy to not only be an eco-friendly, nutritionally adequate, and sustainable food source for both human and animal, but to also be the next best miracle weight loss cure.
“I’ve been eating insects all along”, says Victoria Beckham, former Posh Spice of the Spice Girls. “It’s such a relief to be able to come out of the closet, and to finally be appreciated as a humanitarian.” When suggested that some people still genuinely couldn’t stomach the idea of eating bugs, Beckham went on to ask “What’s the problem?”
Westerners who once were disgusted by the thought of having to utilise wasps, beetles, and crickets as condiments to their Flies and Cicada’s by the beachside, are suddenly jumping on the band wagon. “We served flies before they were cool”, owner of popular Surry Hills based ‘Ento’ cafe boasts before adding “only certified organic, though.”
After Instagramming their courtyard of free range red ants, corn-fed mealworms, and, owner’s favourite, beetle larvae (soon to be served as a ‘Sustainable Smoky Mustard Glazed Larvae Salad’), we couldn’t help but sit down and give some of their dishes a try. “This isn’t a fad”, owner mumbled over a spoon full of triple pulled crataegus laevigata. “We’ve gone the next step and have started serving raw insects, for our seriously passionate raw food customers.”
Dr. D’Emilio suggested that the rest of us still bugged by this idea should stop swatting the income in our own homes, before passing out seconds later.
Reported by Tania Safi