Good news for thousands of people who feared missing out on ANZAC Day 2015 in Gallipoli: the Australian and Turkish governments have expanded the popular dawn service into a two day war-themed ‘mini festival’.
The decision was applauded by the Department of Veteran Affairs, with one spokesperson calling it “a great opportunity to celebrate Australia’s contribution to global conflict”. Shadow Education Minister Chris Pyne added “this is what Australians have been waiting for, a fluoro wristband view of history. Two days will allow us to include, not just the mainstream battles like Gallipoli or the Sinai and Egypt campaign, but smaller, independent conflicts as well”.
The full line-up will be announced closer to the date, but is expected to include the recent Turkish-Syrian border skirmish, North Korea vs. South Korea, and Lindsay Lohan’s ongoing battle for sobriety.
Events for children will include Simpson and his Donkey Rides, Trench Nerf Warfare and beach races, like the One Legged Crawl. It’s confirmed that Guns and Roses will underperform at the event, with Slash and Axl Rose fighting amongst themselves on stage for the first time in 20 years. They’ll be unsupported by Megadeath, Anthrax and the Cold War Kids reading the complete works of Evelyn Waugh.
reported by Dave Bloustien