Somali Pirates have slammed Millennium Development Goals for “all for but eliminating extreme poverty and hunger” in the previously destitute country.
While some Western commentators have touted this news as cause for celebration, Somalia’s once-thriving pirate industry is going out of business as the awful grip of development takes hold.
Former Pirate Captain Mahad Egal said development was the worst thing to hit his country since the elimination of slavery. “First the media reports caused an increase in navy deployment off the coast, and now our country is developing? It’s horrible.”
“Fewer children are starving, women are getting more rights, even tourism is starting to boom. There just aren’t any opportunities for good, honest pirates like me anymore”.
Ex-Pirates have had to start selling their boats to local fishermen as the lack of work takes hold.
“We used to get up to $10 million for one heist. When I went to sell my boat I got offered $80 – and I had to take it. My wife yells at me when she gets home from her job in the city because she earns all our money now.”
All is not lost though, and Mahad is looking to the future with a sense of optimism.
“Because we have the internet now I’ve been doing some research, and I’ve discovered how I can still be a pirate and earn a living”.
Mahad Egal said sales of The Hangover III in the markets of Mogadishu had been sluggish.
Reported by David Piepers