It’s slipping into spring, and we all know the inexorable march of seasonal fashion means last spring’s hot items are so incredibly last year that to put them on your body as though they were functional clothing would make you literally disintegrate in shame.
To help you avoid the spine crackling horror of not being properly dressed, here are six actual must have garments to mix and match this spring!
Winter is over, but that doesn’t mean you can just walk around barefoot like some kind of savage or university student with something to prove about non-conformity. Definitely buy or wear some shoes, especially if you have an office job.
Winter is the time of long-johns and bandage-wrapping and sleeping inside the gutted corpses of sheep to keep warm. In spring, you want to keep wearing underwear, but probably less. Like, underpants but not stockings, or go dangerously without a singlet top between bra and shirt.
3) A Hat:
So I lied. This is actually optional. Maybe even more optional than in winter, but some people like them. Consider your face-shape, head-size and whether you ever go out in the sun. Think about it carefully. Are you a “hat person”? If so, maybe you should wear a hat.
4) A Skirt:
Spring is the season of the skirt, and if you can swing a sexy spring skirt, you probably have hips. On the other hand…
5) A Pants:
Although spring is the season of the skirt, sometimes you need a protective groin flap for modesty or functional reasons. In the absence of a skort or culottes, pants are a good option. Especially if you are a man, pants are seen as a more modest choice for office wear than a skirt.
I hear they’re the newest thing. They make you look like a sexy orthopaedic peasant that can’t run anywhere, but are less useless than the pointy stiletto heel for everything except looking like you have knives coming out of your feet. Buy them!
Reported by Alice Fraser