Last night’s debate between Kevin Rudd and Tony Abbott may have been light on content, but it was, to the confusion of some, heavy on worm.
“I just don’t get it,” said Adam Slippery, a worm. “Ninety nine percent of the time, nobody cares what we think, and then there’s a debate and all anybody wants to know is how we think it’s going. I mean, I’m not even allowed to vote, why are you asking me who’s winning a political debate? How would I know? I literally live with my head buried in the dirt. I don’t even have any eyes!”
Confusion on behalf of worms has not stopped a group of resentful slugs joining together to fight for their own influence. “We’re sick of the unrealistic levels of representation of worms in the media,” said slug and political activist Martha Toboggan. “Slugs are just as capable of having an opinion about what is essentially just a boring conversation, and technically more spineless than the politicians droning on. But just because we’re not as ‘sexy’ as worms, the only chance we have of getting on TV is to physically slither onto the screen. It’s prejudice, plain and simple.”
For now, only one thing is certain, political discourse in this country would have to exist at all to have reached a new low.
Reported by Sam Rugg