We like to think humans are at the top of the food chain, but the truth is, we have plenty of predators. Whether it’s ladders, cars, or our own hearts, sometimes it can feel like everything’s out to get us. Now, according to a growing number of studies, there’s a new predator on the loose: the chair. Like, the normal kind, you already knew the electric kind was gunning for you.
“Well, let’s face it, humans are jerks,” said one wicker chair. “I mean, I used to be a tree, or a shrub, or something. Whatever wicker comes from. Then humans come along, cut me down, or pick me, harvest? Whatever. They weave me into what I am now, and then they shove their arses right in my face, every day, all day long. Why wouldn’t I want to kill you guys?”
According to the research, one hour of sitting and watching TV will shave off about twenty two minutes from your lifespan. And when you’re at the arse end of your life, you’ll need every twenty two minutes you can get. For sitting and watching TV.
Reported by Sam Rugg.